Music Post Numero Dos

So I'm trying to get back into shape. The last year or so has been all over the map for me fitness wise. I started out in great shape (don't make me post the photographs! ... actually if I do post them I might just give up and cry ... okay probably not, but let's not risk it) only to slack off and fall back into the dreaded skinny-fat-guy body. I got back on track towards the end of last year and I'll actually be posting about it and my current exercise and diet regimen sometime in the near future.

But let's get back to this post, which is a Music Post, and for those of you scoring at home this is numero dos. So I'm still a bit lazy I'm gradually easing my way back into my running regimen. One aid has been music. And so here is my current playlist while running:

1. Beyonce - Irreplaceable
2. Katherine McPhee - Over It
3. Nelly Furtado - Say It Right
4. Kylie Minogue - Love at First Sight
5. JoJo - Too Little, Too Late
6. Pink - Just Like a Pill
7. Avril Lavigne - Keep Holding On
8. Akon - Don't Matter

I am not making this up. I must add that I haven't bought any of these tracks. And I also listen to other tracks that I have left out (like S-Mac, Indigo Girls, Dolores O'riordan, Tori Amos, etc) because then this post won't be as funny. Still, I think the above playlist says a lot about me:

1. I am either gay or a thirteen year-old girl.
2. My man has done me wrong!
3. One day I'm going to be an independent diva, just like Beyonce.

Seriously though, why does every female pop music artist have to have a song about how her man did her wrong? There's Beyonce, McPhee, JoJo, Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, etc. I know men cheat. But every single man? And if someone gorgeous and rich, like Beyonce, can't find a good man, I guess no woman can.

(Uses deep voice) But girl, that's just plain wrong. Let me break it down (do people even say that anymore?) for y'all:

Dear Beyonce and fly honeys bootylicious ladies everywhere,

I know men are dogs. But I'm here to let you know that's not always true. I know it can be difficult to not get cynical and pass on love and looks for money (you knowles who you are), but that's not the way to happiness. Many guys are honest and decent --- aw girl, this is getting too personal ...

(Clears throat, choking back the sniffles) Remember JuJu, when we were young and in love? All the way back in the Y2K? Things were going so well. But then one night you said you had to leave me at home because the club was jumpin', jumpin'. And then something about ballers and pockets full grown --- aw girl why'd you do me like that?!?! Awwww, it hurt so bad girl, it hurt so bad!?!?!

Anyway, that was a long time ago. And I'm here to let you know I'm over it, they'll be no more crying in the rain. He may believe you, but I never will. Never again. It's just too little, too late. In the end, You must not know 'bout me.

THE END.

Good lord I hope someone finds this funny. This is my lame attempt at satire. Is it not a bit funny (if not ironic, disingenuous) that a pop singer is talking about being cheated on when years ago she had a song basically promoting cheating? Anyway, my lame attempt was funny when I hit the "publish" button, so it's not my fault. It must be a blogger error, or a translation problem.

And, yes, I know I need to get a life. I'm working on it.

PS - For some stellar music, head on over to Tori Amos' website and listen to three amazing songs from her new album.