TheIdleReceptionist writes a great blog. She doesn't post as much as she used to, back when she was an actual idle receptionist. But she'll still churn out an entertaining gem like this recent post on the straight girl's favorite place: the gay bar.
As Idle mentions, hetero women really enjoy gay bars. Unfortunately, I don't hear so much about straight dudes hitting up the lesbian bar circuit. It's just not the same. Though I kind of wonder what it might be like ....
I'm a skinny guy; I have a thin frame. And while I do work out, my arms are still going to be rather slim. I think it would be kind of cool to walk into a lesbian bar with a sleeveless t-shirt and have some of the buffest arms in the room. Maybe Bernice* will walk up to me, playfully punch me in the arm, and say, "Hey! Check out the guns!" And I'll be all, "Oh, stop it Bernie! I barely work out." And then we'll talk about the NBA and WNBA. And it would be cool to hear the ladies ask me about my facial hair and call my shaved head 'cool' --- instead of asking why I have a lot of hair on my face and not much on top of my head, like the straight gals do.
Or maybe one day my car will blow a gasket near the bar. And not only will the lesbians at the bar be kind enough to fix my car, but they'll soup it up and add some rims. And then we'll all pile in and head to a STAR TREK:TNG marathon viewing.
Yeah, I gotta admit, that would be pretty rad.
But yeah, that's probably not what happens when a hetero guy walks into a lesbian bar, but a boy can dream. Hah.
*My apologies to lesbians and people named Bernice everywhere. I know it is a bad stereotype to think women named Bernice are lesbians. And I don't. I'm just using it for humor, and duly noting it.
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13 comments:
Oh dear, I think you may be wrong as to what most men fantasize would happen in a lesbian bar - I think they hope that the ladies will all be making out topless, and hoping against hope a straight guy will wander in for a lesbian-straight guy-lesbian sandwich . . .
on the other hand if you are correct, then I would have done a better job checking the drain trap today on my kitchen sink if only I was gay . . .
That was pretty funny!
I've always wondered what it would be like to saddle up to the bar of a lesbian joint and proclaim in a loud voice "My buddy told me this was this place to go for fish tacos!"
Too obvious?
you come up with crazy ideas--you should write sitcoms.
Oh my, you said "we could talk about the WNBA."
No straight man would even broach the subject!
V- are you sure you aren't a lezzie?
Who talks about the WNBA, good lord. LOL
In Davis where I live, there is a group called the Davis Dykes that attend every Sacramento WNBA game. And let me tell you there is not a single lipstick Lezzie in the bunch.
Portland - The Fish Tacos phrase never goes out of style. Always makes me laugh. Would you like some Sour Cream for garnish?
V, I think the lesbian bar you envision exists only in southern California.
However, if you do breakdown there, and the male talent hasn't shown-up, your dream may come true. (You don't mind the lights and camera, do you?.)
Dude - Based both on the lesbians I know personally and your own description of yourself, you would NOT have the buffest arms in the room. Trust me on this.
It may be totally inaccurate, but that's an awesome idea. :-)
Well, if they're anything like the lesbians at my gym, I don't think they'd be offering to help fix the car of a staight guy.
And I gotta go with "la" on the whole who'd have the bigger guns thing.
That said, I like your optimism.
Diane - Hmm, I say my hypothetical is perhaps more realistic. Maybe not. I mean I just guessed that lesbians would be into Star Trek: TNG, I'm not really sure.
NY Kat - Thanks!
Blog Portland - If you ever do that let us all know how it went.
Sage - I say the sitcoms should write me! Oh wait, that makes little sense.
Ryan - You kinda got me. I know very little about the WNBA. I thought I'd add in the WNBA because I'm guessing the lesbians would want to talk about it. But I can name a couple players. Swin Cash and Candice Parker are hot.
Getflix - Wow. Southern California has everything.
LA - Yeah, I had a feeling my arms wouldn't measure up. But maybe I could be in the top quartile. Maybe not.
Prin G - Thanks, I think it's awesome too.
Anon Boxer - One moment the lesbians would be at a bar, the next moment I'd walk in and take them all to the gun show! Okay, maybe not.
Funny V!
I have no idea what a lesbian bar would be like, but I'm pretty sure beauties like Portia (Ellen's girlfriend)are NOT there. More women along the lines of Melissa Ethridge I imagine.
I'd rather talk about male basketball players and the dirth of tight shorts. That is a trend that DEFINITELY has to come back if they want any chance of getting me to watch that game.
As an aspiring Lesbian myself, I've considered visiting such a place myself.
I might even shave first
I'm totally against lesbians.
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