Thursday, May 24, 2007

A little help ...

So after I get a six-pack lose a few more pounds, I'm going to be heading back into the wonderful world of online dating. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, "online dating is for weirdos", "everyone lies", "yadda, yadda, yadda". First of all, that's not what you should be thinking. You should be thinking, "What? Doesn't a suave, charming, sophisticated man with a glorious hairy belly like yourself only date fashion models?" Sadly dear reader that is not the case.

Moving on. While my experience with online dating has been short, it has been rather normal. This might sound a little sad strange, but I actually like the idea behind online dating. You get to potentially meet a variety of people you might not otherwise run into at a local bar or similar place. It takes some time to get familiar with (for lack of a better term) reading profiles and tweaking your own profile (though some of us are far more clueless than others: I wasn't even smiling in my first photograph).

Anyway I still consider myself an online dating novice. I've only signed up for one website in the past, a medium sized network that affiliated itself with some popular, quality websites (The Village Voice, The Onion, etc). I believe a year or so ago it was bought by another company and changed quite a bit. They actually have a "most viewed profile" list now and while the men's side is peppered with professional 40-somethings with all their hair---Actually I just re-logged in to see how the lists look like now. Things have changed. The men's side actually has a majority of 30-somethings and in the top slot is a buff bartender (complete with tight t-shirt photos) who's looking for "Women for a short term relationship, a friend or play." Lol. The women's side is also filled with 30-somethings though skewing a little younger. The last time I regularly checked this website, the women's top spot was solidified by a very attractive lady in her late 20s who entered fitness model pageants and was a doctor --- I kid you not. She's no longer on the list. Looks like she found someone. I guess there's hope for us all.

In any case, I'm not sure if I should stick with this site (it's run by a company named FastCupid) or try a more popular site like Match.com or Yahoo! Personals. I know this is a personal matter, but if anyone out there has some advice or personal experience with dating websites than please leave a comment. Also, while I hate to admit it, what do people think of "match-making" sites like eHarmony and Chemistry.com? Chemistry.com is Match.com's answer to eHarmony --- basically using a personality profile/quiz to match people up. I wouldn't use eHarmony because for some insane reason they don't match homosexual (or bisexual) people. Even though I am heterosexual (enter clever emasculating joke here) I'm not going to affiliate in any way with a company that blatantly discriminates. But what about Chemistry.com? Right now I think it seems a little too serious. But I guess I am a little intrigued by the idea of matching on similar views and interests. Though a well written profile should help do just that.

10 comments:

sage said...

You know, I've written both a personal ad and a grad reference for Murf, I'm sure Nevada Jack and I could cook up something for you!

When you're using an online dating service connected to the Onion, do they cull through the ads to find the dorky ones to feature in "The Personal Ad of the Day?"

M-M-M-Mishy said...

Whatever you do, don't use Craigslist! I read the personal ads on there just for a laugh. The guy with a jedi cloak and a light saber promising to offer "out of this world pleasure" to the right lady (only hot chicks apply) cracked me up.

I've surfed match.com a few times, but I'm truly paranoid about putting my photo out on the internets... I said I'd do it, if my friend signed up too. So far, we're both too chicken.

LA said...

V - I've been seeing these ads for Chemistry.com where they say "so-and-so was rejected by eHarmony," and I was wondering what that was all about?

Anyway, I do personally know someone who met her husband on eHarmony. She is now pregnant with their second child. They are very religious people, and I kind of get the feeling that eHarmony.com is skewed in that way.

Otherwise, I've never tried online dating, so I don't have much info to offer.

Aren't you a student? You don't meet girls at school? A job? Through friends?

Diane said...

hey - I made all that baby stuff for a couple that met on Match.com, so it definitely works. I have used a couple of the sites, mainly Yahoo and Matchmaker.com, and had the better experiences on Yahoo (keep in mind this was late '90s, early 00's). I don't know anybody who has had a good experience on eHarmony - either b/c they are gay, or were heteros told they had no matches.

Use a good and fun photo of yourself that is relatively recent. A photo some friends took at the ball game is more impressive than you taking a lame photo of yourself in the mirror. Keep in mind that most of the photos u view of others will not be so accurate. Men lie about their height and age; women lie about their weight and age. Even so, strive to be truthful yourself.

You're a fun, witty, intelligent fella - look for those same attributes in others. You can learn alot about folks through a few emails. Avoid the folks with model good looks (this works for both men and women). People who are that good looking don't need to be online to get dates unless there are some serious personality deficiencies.

Be willing to go on numerous casual dates - meeting for coffee or a beer - be nice to them all - even in the world wide web, women gossip.

And whatever you do, don't claim in your profile that you like walks on the beach and holding hands . . . even if you do, that line has been too abused now to do any good.

And when you are on your 5th bad date in a row, remember that bad dates make better stories, and good luck!

ffleur said...

You are a braver person than me. I checked out a site, but bolted after 3 days. Way too scary for me.

I'm resigned to spinsterhood which is fine by me. I like to be alone but the down side to it is, sometimes you get lonely.

I hope you do well and maybe post some of the more amusing dates?

NY KAT said...

You could always try signing up for a few different sites. I would also suggest that you get the awkwardness over by sending emails back and forth with your prospective date so you can weed out the bad ones before you even meet them.

I have a very close friend who met their husband online and they have been happily married for quite awhile.

While online dating isn't for everyone, it definitely works for smoe people. Afterall, you just never know where you are going to meet the women of your dreams.

GetFlix said...

Borrow someone's dog and hang out in the park.

PixieGaf said...

I have never tried dating sites but I am sure an intelligent witty guy like yourself will have no problems finding a date online.

yll said...

I saw those 'rejected by eHarmony ads too'. Now I understand what that's about. Maybe they said their fave food is beer.

What diane said...
Go out w/ lots of potential gals. For coffee (inexpensive & short 1st dates); but if it goes well, a coffee date can last a couple hours too. If they seem decent, but it just wasn't there, ask them to keep you in mind if they know a girl who might suit you better. Seriously; get the word out.

v said...

Thanks for the kind words and good advice y'all. Mucho appreciated.